Where? How?

Where will you go when everyone's left you because you've pushed them all away? How will you go on living when you're left all alone in the world? Two questions I continually ask myself, especially at times like this when I'm alone on a holiday that everyone else is getting together to enjoy.

My therapist keeps telling me suicide will always be an option for me as long as I continue to allow myself to believe that it is a viable out for me. If only she knew how badly I want out right now, at this particular moment in time. I'm starting to drown in my depression. Wave after wave sucking the breath out of me.

I'll keep struggling, hopefully I'll make it to tomorrow.