Friday, August 25, 2006

The main event

This week's main event, besides returning to hell from vacation, was the start of high school for the kiddie. We got into an argument on Monday night because she kept going on and on about how she missed the new student orientation and wouldn't know where her classes or locker were. She was also upset cuz she didn't really have any friends going to her school, though she would know a few people. I asked her what they do in therapy, "what can you do about this problem right now?" I told her nothing, so why start worrying about it in advance. She didn't like that answer and burst into tears saying she was just scared and wanted to get stuff off her mind. Before I lose my mother of the year award nomination again, let me just say that I did let her vent before I said that to her. I only said it after she began repeating the same concerns over and over.

Tuesday I took her to get her hair done. This time she went black with red tips. The red looks more purple-ish though, but it still looks cute on her. Black usually makes people with fair skin look pale, but I think this actually brightens her face. She was a little more relaxed, so maybe what I said about not worrying about something you can't do anything about right now finally sunk in.

Wednesday was the first day of classes and boy did I get an earful when I picked her up from school. First she bitched about how everyone has to share a locker (I'd bitch about that too, especially since no one ever mentioned anything about it previously), then she bitched that she couldn't get her locker open, then it was about how she couldn't find any of her classrooms, then on to bitching about how she doesn't have any friends, etc. Finally the "I don't ever want to go back there" came, so I knew it was my chance to talk.

Keeping in mind how sensitive she was two nights ago, I tried to sympathize and empathize with her. I agreed the locker situation sucked. As for getting it open, I told her she should ask someone else to show her how. Apparently she was doing something wrong. I told her even if she had gone to the orientation she probably would still have had trouble finding her classes. It's a school that's twice as large as her jr high was and instead of having most of her classes in one hallway they are now spread out all over the school. Told her it would just take a little time, but she would adjust and be able to find her classes quicker.

As for the whole friends thing I told her that would take time as well, but she would make some. She does know some of the kids in the academy because they went to her old school and does talk to them but doesn't consider them "friends". She doesn't seem to think she has anything in common with them because their sole focus is on sports and academics. They don't seem to allow themselves to just let loose and have fun like she does. She knows how to have fun and be a complete dork, also knows when it's time to be serious with her studies.

I told her that it is difficult that all her close friends got split up and are going to different high schools, but that she is going to the high school SHE chose. It's not the one she would have gone to based on boundary lines. I pointed out that she wouldn't have been happy going to that high school either, which she agreed with. I explained that high school is an adjustment for everyone. Sure it can be made easier if you have friends to share the experience with, but I told her she could have gone to the same high school as any of her friends and not have had a single class or chance to see them, as was the case with one of her best friends. In fact her two best friends both had miserable first days as well, one was so unhappy she actually texted the kiddie in the middle of the day.

After having a horrible first day, I was reluctant to say anything when she got in the car yesterday. But I did end up asking how everything went. She was much more upbeat. Said she had someone show her how to open her locker, turns out she was doing it wrong. She also talked a lot to this kid Gabe that she'd known in jr high but wasn't really friends with. He helped her get to her classes since they share a lot of the same ones. They also both share a passion for music, which she already knew, and are the class misfits because they like punk rock instead of all the hip hop crap all the other kids listen to. She said she's impressed with his attitude because just seeing him and the way he acts you wouldn't think he was smart enough to get into the academy, and even if he were he wouldn't be willing to apply himself, but he does.

Hopefully things will get better each day. She was also excited yesterday because they talked about the class trip to Key West for the marine biology study. She didn't seem to understand some of the information, but said that they go in their sophomore and junior years instead of senior year. She wasn't sure if they get to go both years or if they do it every couple of years so that you only go once. She was worried about the cost, which turns out is only about $700, which isn't bad considering they fly down there and stay a week. I told her that when the time came we'd come up with the money. To make sure, she wants to start saving now with the $150 in change we've collected and with the money from the garage sale we're going to be having with my sister.


Blogger James said...

Sounds like you handled it all really well.

1:31 PM, August 25, 2006  

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