Wednesday, February 20, 2008

How?

That's what I'd like to know. How?

How do "normal" people handle stress without wanting to rip their own skin to shreds, tear all their hair out, drink themselves into oblivion or even kill themselves?

How do "normal" people handle making 50+ phone calls searching for someone, anyone, willing to take public aid in order to get care for their child because the system is so fucking jacked up that even public aid can't tell you who might be willing to accept their crappy reimbursement rates and make all those calls (so far to no avail, I still haven't found anyone) without truly wanting to murder someone?

How do "normal" people calm down when they do get pissed off?

How do "normal" people control their emotions instead of their emotions controlling them?

How do "normal" people cope, just with life in general?

I'm not normal, so I'm not coping. I'm not calming down. I'm not in control of my emotions. My rage is taking over and I feel like I'm reaching the point of no return. Lucky for the rest of the world...I only have a desire to eradicate myself.