Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Comments off

Decided to seize this opportunity to turn the comments off. I have appreciated the feedback, both positive and negative, that I have received over the years. I know I didn't acknowledge them very often, but I did read them all.

I started this blog for numerous reasons. I didn't want to keep accumulating paper journals, which are so much easier for people to find and read, plus there is no anonymity with them. I was running out of space to hide the handwritten ones. I was also spending more time on the computer and the convenience of typing out my thoughts gave me some sense that I was at least using a portion of that time constructively. Essentially, it was just to shift away from a manual, paper format. I chose to do it in this particular forum, instead of just keeping a private file on my own computer, in hopes that maybe others would feel a little bit less alone, a little bit less defective, and maybe a little bit relieved to know they weren't alone with their thoughts, others share the same ones.

I've struggled with whether or not to keep the comments on since my first post in 2004. As I'm making changes in my life, I've come to realize that having the comments open only perpetuates anxiety. I get anxious if I get a comment, never knowing how I'll react. I get anxious when I don't receive any, thinking I've pissed the world off. The added anxiety is not something I can deal with any longer. It detracts from the purpose this blog serves for me.

In making this change, I already feel a sense of relief washing over me. That's a good thing.