YAY! I got some Seroquel!

Finally the pdoc gave me Seroquel again. I'm so looking forward to hopefully sleeping tonite that it's not even funny. He also took me off the Remeron and Abilify, put my Zoloft up to 150 mgs and kept me on the Valium. I explained to him that I needed Seroquel. It's the only drug that has worked pretty consistently to help me sleep and calm my brain.

He seemed surprised by the mania and how I thought it was brought on by the Abilify. Not sure if he didn't believe me because it's not listed as a side effect, but I did tell him I know others that have had similar experiences. Told him it began about a week after I started taking the pills and went off the Seroquel. I've been off Seroquel before so I know that was the cause of the lack of sleep, but that I've never experienced mania before.

He asked if I enjoyed the mania, if at any point it felt good. I said hell no. It felt foreign and was very tiring. I would forget things in mid-sentence, kept having minor accidents around the house cuz I was so manic I was trying to do multiple things at once, etc. Told him I felt I was finally about to crash from exhaustion because I actually got 5 hours of sleep last night, compared to the 19 hours I got all of last week; and that I just wanted to take all the pills I had on hand so I could finally get some much needed sleep. When I said that, I half expected him to ask if I should be hospitalized, but he didn't. Guess because I didn't mention suicide he didn't feel I was in danger.

Think I'll add the few Abilify & Remeron pills I have left to my "stash" I'm slowly rebuilding. Suppose I don't really even need a stash. My daughter had a prescription for a penicillin based antibiotic. If I take the 20 or so pills leftover from that in my time of need, it'll kill me. I'm highly allergic to penicillin. Guess they didn't realize that when they were taking all my other pills away. I didn't even realize those pills were still there until last night. Or maybe I knew they were there but just forgot because I don't go in that cabinet for much.

I'm not suicidal though. But then again, I wasn't the last time I downed all those pills either. Guess I'll just keep plugging away and trying to make it thru. I have to at least hang on and stay out of the hospital until after January 14th.