Monday, May 21, 2007

10 positives a day

My homework for this week has turned out to be much harder than I had anticipated. I'm supposed to be writing down 10 positive things everyday and at least one has to be about me. I started this on Thursday and in five days, I've only been able to come up with 11 positives total. Two of those are definitely about me and two others might possibly apply, but I'm not sure if they really do.

I'm not even sure if I'm writing the correct types of positives. I think she wanted me to put down traits I like in others or exhibit myself, but none of those are coming to mind so I've instead been trying to write down positive actions or other misc. stuff that's been going on each day.

Here's some of what I wrote...

  1. We learned the kiddie's ex is going off to college in Texas, so he'll be far away from her (not that they have much of any contact anyway, but this way they can't try and start over if that desire ever comes up).
  2. The ex paid for dinner after the kiddie's orchestra concert. He actually had some money for a change!
  3. I politely declined an invitation to go out with my sister and I didn't let myself feel guilty for not going.
  4. I remained calm and rational when my daughter was upset and frustrated about a homework assignment she was working on. As a borderline, I initially felt myself feeding off her mood and felt some anger begin to churn inside, but I instantly stifled that feeling because I knew it would be unproductive to respond to her ranting with my own.
  5. There were a bunch of good movies on tv Sunday so I could be lazy on the couch in between loads of laundry.

None of those sound like what I remember my T asking of me, but I'm trying, I really am. It's hard to find positives in life when you rarely venture outside your own little world, rarely leave home and interact with others.

Tomorrow I actually do need to go out. I have prescriptions that should have been refilled last week and the kiddie sees her therapist in the evening. Maybe doing those things will generate more ideas for what to add to this list.


Blogger marie said...

Sid, trying to find the posotives in life is a very hard thing to do. Especially when you are caught up in so many negative situations. I am experincing some of that myself.

I am glad you are trying and putting forth a good effort. Keep on trying and it will eventually come.

2:30 PM, May 22, 2007  
Blogger Polar Bear said...

You've made some really good effort here. You can probably include "trying my best even tho I felt I couldn't" on your list.

My T and I have also been working on increasing positives into my day/week. A few weekends ago, I went on a book shopping spree. I came out with a huge hole in my pocket, but boy, it was fun while it lasted!

Other positives for me were much more tame. I would make plans to go out for a run, or plans to just spend a quiet evening in front of the TV, watching something I like.

well done, Sid. Keep going. I think it's really great that you're fighting on like this.

3:07 PM, May 22, 2007  
Blogger dead disco said...

its funny,
i was google-ing the effects of grapefruit and seroquel, and your blog came up...

6:40 PM, May 22, 2007  
Blogger Cinthia said...

Finding positive things to say about yourself is very hard indeed if you weren't in the habit of doing it before. But once you start coming up with more of these positive affirmations, you find that your outlook on life gradually changes as well. It's really quite incredible! I wish you all the best in your journey to get better, Sid. I'm so happy to know you're making progress!

8:14 PM, May 24, 2007  

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