Stoking the flame

"You never give yourself credit for the positive steps you take. I'm worried that nothing will ever be good enough for you."

I realize this is a major obstacle that I need to overcome. My entire world was programmed around the ideal that I'm not good enough and will never be good enough no matter what I do. As a result, it's hard for me to see the positive unless someone else points it out.

However, it isn't the slightest bit helpful when the woman points out the things she thinks I'm doing right and then follows it up with the word "BUT" and then proceeds to point out the things I'm failing to do. Does she not realize that each time she does this she's simply stoking the flame of inadequacy?