Monday, September 29, 2008

Full throttle panic

I've been in full throttle panic attack mode for five hours now and nothing is helping to calm me down, not even the six Valium I took. I thought I was just being paranoid about my whole financial situation, but I got my credit reports today (I'm one of those people that gets them every year since they're free) and it appears that I may be the victim of identity theft. They won't get far with my sucky credit, but my credit report was sent to some mortgage company on the East Coast last month and I certainly haven't applied for any mortgages. In fact I haven't applied for any credit at all in more than five years.

It could possibly be a mistake, but unfortunately the mortgage company was already closed by the time I got my mail so I won't be able to contact them until tomorrow to find out. This incident has me so completely panicked because it seems to coincide with some other bizzare things that have been happening over the last three weeks.

I keep trying to tell myself that nothing is going to happen in the next 12 hours until I can call. Keep telling myself to set the worrying down because there is nothing I can do about it right now, just like I've been taught to do in therapy, but I can't seem to let it go. To see this on my credit report is fueling the paranoia I already had that someone is out to steal what little money I get each month. Seriously, the last thing I need in my life right now is more shit to worry about.


Blogger Polar Bear said...

Sometimes they make it as if it is so easy to just not react when you have such intense emotions inside. But I know it's hard to settle when your mind is flashing danger signals all over. It's hard NOT to worry.

Just keep hanging in there. I hope it gets sorted out.

9:41 PM, September 30, 2008  
Blogger Handsome B. Wonderful said...

Oh that IS unsettling. It's such a terrible feeling. I hope that it turns out o.k. I'm thinking of you and hope that your anxiety and paranoia calms down.

4:50 PM, October 01, 2008  

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