Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Mixed state

The longer I stay away from my blog, the harder it becomes to organize my thoughts into a cohesive post. This is why I refer to blogging as "word vomit" when people ask me why I do it. It's just a way to get all the crap swirling through my head out in order to make room for more. If I don't regurgitate my thoughts on a regular basis, my brain ends up choking on it all.

It doesn't help that I'm in such a mixed state right now I don't know if I'm coming or going. I can be suicidally depressed one minute and the next I'm wanting to run the Boston Marathon in hopes of burning off all this restless energy. Is it possible to kill yourself while running a marathon? Cuz honestly, that sounds like it'd be ideal.

Didn't bother to go shopping today. Didn't even bother to shower. I thought about both, but then I got distracted. By what I don't remember. My only accomplishment for today was making an appointment to get my hair done on Thursday. Oh yeah, and whittling down possible restaurant choices for Saturday to three. As a Christmas present for my daughter (and myself) I bought subscription series tickets to various musicals coming to Chicago. The first is Les Misérables, which we see this weekend. Hence the need to get my nasty hair done, find some decent clothes, and why I was searching for restaurants.

Monday the kiddie is skipping school and we're going to meet with an admissions counselor at a different college. The over-achiever in her has decided that she is not being academically challenged at her present school being in her declared major, so she now wants to change her major to psychology with minors in both neuroscience and music, and then possibly go to medical school. In essence, she wants to become a female version of her idol,
Oliver Sacks, MD. And with the level of drive, focus and enthusiasm she has for that pursuit (plus the brains & both the musical and writing talent), I have no doubts at all that she will succeed. The reason she has to change schools to do that is because the one she's at now does not offer any type of neuroscience degree and has a lousy pre-med program.

My initial reaction when she told me all this was "why didn't you apply to this college and a couple of others like I had recommended last year". I knew she had seized onto one opportunity too quickly without exploring all her options, which she now admits was a big mistake. The good news is that she will probably have no trouble getting into this other college. The only real issue is how to pay for it because the cost is a minimum of $10k more a year than where she's at now and because it's a private school, she wouldn't be eligible to reapply for the scholarship she got this year which covered all of her tuition. Guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.


Blogger Punch said...

I can so relate to the "word vomit" perspective. I am now finding, 30 or so straight days in, that I feel a catharsis when I sit down to spew, often writing about things that I didn't intend to when I sat down, yet being of significant importance once I feel them.

Good news for your kiddie.

7:59 AM, February 16, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You must be so proud of your child. Such drive. I hope your mind gives you a little peace.

9:10 AM, February 16, 2011  
Anonymous Saracide said...

Word vomit.. I like that.
Your daughter sounds like an amazing woman.

12:07 AM, February 19, 2011  

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