Lost the war

I've tried haven't I? Over and over and over and over again. Try this therapy, take that pill, let's lock her up to keep her safe, even better, lets shock her brain. And where do I continually end up? Wishing I had a gun to blow my fucking brains out. Bipolar, anxiety, depression, delusional disorder, borderline personality disorder, whatever fucked up name you want to label the defect in my head, I'm just going to refer to it as the death of me. I can't fight against something I can't see. I can congratulate myself for the small battles I've won along the way, but overall, I admit defeat. I've lost the war.