Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Still fighting

Still fighting the urges but I grow weaker each day. My bed is my sanctuary. I can hide there and forget the rest of the world, just as the rest of the world can forget me. Hospitalization at this point is out of the question. So much school related stuff is coming up over the next month and a half, including graduation, that I have no choice but to continue the struggle for life. So for now I will self-medicate. Each time I awaken, I reach to my stash and down some more Seroquel and Valium, returning to my drug induced sleep where I don't have to see, feel or do anything.

8 Comments:

Blogger Maggs said...

Still fighting: Can your ex pick up some more of the parental duties so you can get better?

Crashed: : ( I’m sorry.

Still no sleep: Regardless of the mood I’m in, a song can trigger a crash. It sucks. Glad you got some $$. Sorry your sis has gallstones but I think they are pretty common, so I hope that helps with your worries. And glad the bunny is better too. : )

Still awake
My priorities are all out of whack too. Good luck with the paperwork.

My snowball isn't eating: I didn’t know you had a bunny!! We’ve debated getting one. Not sure if Miss A is ready or not. Animal medical bills can’t break the bank. I know. I used to raise hedgehogs and we were always at the vet’s office.

Moody teen day: Your post about your daughter was pretty funny. Can’t WAIT till mine does that! LOL

3:06 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger Sage said...

Good to see you, Sid. Hang in there. Please don't overmedicate but do enuff to feel better. We are all with you.

4:10 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger the depressed nurse said...

Oh Sid, I'm worried about you, my friend! Watch out taking too much of that stash, okay? And seriously, if you wanna talk, let me know and I can give you my number. I don't want you feeling there isn't anyone in this world you can talk to, because I am here for you, okay! Please take care of yourself.

ps. I sent you an email for the new blog of mine's link. Update your link to me too. Sorry for all the trouble. :(

5:51 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger mizeeyore said...

Sid, i wish i could help you in some way...it hurts me knowing that you're hurting. i feel bad now for even asking something from you and you're like this...how selfish of me.

please come on Yahoo IM okay?
i'll be online tonight. i
just wanna know if you're okay.

and please, please, please go easy on the pills. i can understand that feeling of wanting to hide away from everyone, but just know all of us here in the Blogosphere who have come to know you - WE LOVE YOU and we are here for you.

Hugs(((((((((Sid))))))))))

6:49 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger Joel said...

Sid, I'm with mize....be careful of the pills, especially the Valium....you might think that that one helps with the depression, but it makes it much much worse....my offer about the ear is still good....

11:55 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Rest as much as you can to refuel. Once you get past the school hurdles, you can figure out a better way to move through things.

~Deb

11:52 AM, April 21, 2006  
Blogger Cinthia said...

I agree with everyone. Please go easy on those meds. Take care of yourself, dear. I send you lots of love and warm hugs.

Cinthia

9:23 PM, April 21, 2006  
Blogger James said...

I love the Seroquel. I call it the "black hole." I don't take it more then what I'm allowed by my pdoc though. I don't want to f**k up the balance I've attained with my current cocktail. I wish I could take more somedays though.

11:39 AM, April 22, 2006  

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