Sunday, April 16, 2006

Still awake

It's 4:15 am and I'm still awake. Would be nice if I could take my meds and head off to bed, but I can't. My brother-in-law called at about 11:30 pm and said he had to take my sister to the ER cuz she was very sick. So the kiddie and I came to keep watch over their two daughters. I suppose I could have asked one of the old people to go, but my sis has done so much for me that I didn't even consider not coming over.

Last check in was about an hour ago and they were waiting to take my sis for a CT scan to see if the cyst on her right ovary was infected or had burst. Waiting now to hear something, anything, about what is wrong with her. I hope it's nothing serious. She looked so awful when I showed up, huddled under 3 blankets, running a fever of over 102 and in a lot of pain.

I tried going to sleep, but without my meds, my fucking head just won't shut down. I've got "Dirty Little Secret" by All American Rejects running through my head and no matter what I try that damn song won't stop playing. In addition, the scenario of when an old pdoc called 911 on me keeps playing non-stop as well.

I'm supposed to be meeting with my ex's accountant later today and I'm going to be in a sad state from lack of sleep. I still don't think what he told me is legit. Supposedly if we file together, he will get a refund instead of owing taxes and therefore can give me some of that money. Problem is, we didn't file jointly last year because we lived apart for the entire year and the only income I had was disability. How can we suddenly file this time as joint even though again we lived apart the entire year? Doesn't make sense that we could pick and choose which years we want to file jointly, especially when I don't have to file at all given our living arrangements. Wouldn't we need to go back and redo 2004's return then? It's all too confusing.

I've been doing ok lately, I guess. Trying to clean and get organized again. Managed to clean the living room and the bathroom sink, plus vacuumed my bedroom and dusted in there a little as well. Lot more dusting to do since it's been quite awhile since I bothered with that. I've also managed to shred a bunch of old stuff I no longer needed. Trying to clear out the desk so the kiddie has room to put some of her crap in the drawers or cabinets instead of leaving it on the desk top. Ms. Anal Sidney needs to have all that clutter hidden.

Seems like I'm doing so little though, it's frustrating. I could clean an entire house in one day, yet it seemed to take me all day to do what little I did yesterday. I have my priorities out of whack too. I should be working on the bankruptcy stuff that's been stalled for the last four months and figuring out the Medicare prescription crap I threw to the side. I don't know, maybe I'm not doing so well. My head's so fucking screwy I don't know which direction I'm going in.


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