More pics

Time for some more pics. I'm just randomly adding these in any order, which is why some pics are cloudy and some are sunny. They aren't in order of how they were taken at all. Some are from Wednesday and some are from Thursday.

This is the first pic the kiddie took. She just wanted the picture so she could send it to her friends with the caption...Moooooooooo. She's weird like that.

Don't ask me why, but there is this giant, metallic bean in the middle of the city in Millennium Park. It's a complete waste of money, we're talking millions, but I took a picture of the damn thing anyway cuz the kiddie refused to. From this angle it looks more like a giant silver bullet (the vibrator kind for those that don't own one or aren't familiar with them).

Another picture looking up. This is of the John Hancock building. Think it's somewhere around 97 stories tall. The observation deck is on the 94th floor, but there's a restaurant called the Signature Room on the 97th. Don't know if it's taller than that. In 38 years of living in & around Chicago, this was the first time I'd ever bothered to go into the building. Supposedly this is the tallest, multi-use building in the country or world (guess I should have paid more attention to their video). It houses both businesses & residences. There's even a grocery store, post office & pool somewhere around the 30th floor.

Ah, here's a picture of the Sears Tower, taken from inside the observation deck of the Hancock. Doesn't look so tall from about 2 miles away on the 94th floor of another building. Despite what Malaysia thinks & the commission that decides tallest buildings, the Sears Tower still retains the world's tallest building in my eyes cuz the top floor is still the highest occupied floor in the world. Malaysia only took the title cuz they added some stupid decorative spires on top of their building.

Anyway, the pdoc cancelled on me this morning. Apparently he was out of town last week or just the weekend and because of the storms the midwest had on Sunday, he wasn't able to get a flight home in time. So I'm rescheduled for tomorrow at some ungodly hour, 10:30 am or something like that. I know, I know...that's not early for most people, but considering I'm usually up til 1 or 2 am and I'm heavily medicated to help me sleep, it's WAY fucking early for me.

The depression is really starting to kick my ass. Last night I felt like overdosing for no particular reason. I didn't of course, but even today I was late for my T appointment cuz I couldn't get motivated to move. Cried again in her office (this pattern of tears is really, really, really pissing me off). The depression and then the frustration of her not being able to understand what I'm going thru made me cry. She says I have a pattern of enjoying myself and then crashing. I told her it isn't planned that way. It just feels like it takes all my energy and effort to enjoy myself and then I have nothing left afterwards. I've been doing the distraction crap and getting little things done that I need to like laundry, but it's so hard just to get the fuck out of bed.

I'm not staying in bed tho cuz I know that isn't good for me. But it doesn't feel like it's doing me any good to be out of bed either. It's a lose-lose situation. I'm just trying to find some way to keep from crashing to the point I'm a danger to myself and end up dead or in the hospital.