Friday, November 23, 2007

Tasks need to get done

Perhaps I should have left the mail unopened and the school papers that were stacking up untouched a while longer. Somehow I doubt my response would have been any different no matter how long I waited to go through them. I am so confused and overwhelmed by what I need to take care of that my mind just keeps shutting down, going completely blank, taking away my ability to think rationally and come up with a game plan for how to handle everything. The associated stress is making my anxiety even worse, which in turn is causing me to become physically ill and break into tears.

I put everything off to the side in a nice, neat stack but doing that hasn't alleviated any of the anxiety or stress. I know those papers are still there, those tasks still need to be dealt with immediately and I'm the one that has to do it all. The financial burden some of these things carry is only adding to the unbearable stress.

If I could get money from the stupid fuckhead, that would help me out, at least a little. But he's just as useless as always. The kiddie actually went off on him and chastised him for being immature and irresponsible last Sunday when we went to the mall to see about getting her a new cellphone. The salesperson told him that they wouldn't know what kind of discounts they could offer on a new phone until he paid his past due balance. So we left empty handed. As we were walking out he made the comment about the balance only being a couple of days late, not a whole month or something where he had incurred late charges, and he couldn't understand why they wouldn't just give us the discounts on a new phone. That's when the kiddie laid into him. She said that it didn't matter if the payment was only a day late, it was still late. Said they aren't going to let you buy a new phone when you owe them money, if you have money for a new phone, you should have money to pay your bill on time.

I held in my laughter as the dipshit was being scolded by his 15 year old daughter. How beyond pathetic is it that his child gets it, but he doesn't?? He's supposed to be the adult! He hasn't talked to her since. Didn't bother to call and wish her a happy Thanksgiving, nothing. Last Sunday was the only time he's even seen her in over a month because he never has a car that runs. Even if he did, I'm sure he'd come up with another excuse for why he couldn't come spend time with her.

When I can finally get divorced from this idiot, I wonder if I can get him to sign away all rights to his daughter. It's not anything I would have ever wanted, but he's proven time and time again that he cannot be a responsible adult, let alone a responsible parent. The kiddie would have no objections to never having contact with the man again and neither would I. Ultimately, it's really her choice at this point if she does see him or not, and I'm supporting her decision 100%.


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