Saturday, November 24, 2007

Triggered again but getting organized

As I was watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation last night, the horror of the PTSD episode in the hospital was triggered again. Why? Because the senile old woman's name is mentioned several times during one point in the movie. Just hearing it induced a panic attack and I had to switch channels. This is disturbing to me on so many levels.

I do not want to be haunted by that incident for the rest of my life. I don't want the mere mention of the woman's name to make me panic stricken. And on a childish level, I don't want one of my all time favorite Christmas movies, one that still makes me laugh no matter how many times I've seen it, to be permanently ruined because of this minor connection it holds to what happened in the hospital.

Think that will be the starting focal point of my sessions with the new therapist, whenever I finally get one. Working through why I was triggered and how to keep from being triggered by it in the future.

I was able to clear my head a little and figure out how to start tackling all of the tasks I need to get done. Since Monday is the first business day after a holiday, I figure that would not be a good day to make any of the phone calls I need to make to places like Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security. The lines will probably be busy with long hold times and that will just frustrate me. So Monday I'm going to drive around to various places and get quotes on new tires. I need to get them before the snow comes. I also need an oil change so I'll get that done as well.

Tuesday I have an appointment with my medical doctor early in the morning, so afterwards I'll work on contacting my daughter's teachers to discuss her progress. They had parent/teacher conferences this past Monday and Tuesday, but since I didn't know if I'd be out of the hospital, I didn't schedule any. The kiddie keeps me up to date on everything she's doing at school, but I like to talk to her teachers each year just in case there's something she's failed to mention and to let them know that I am involved with and care about her education.

That will at least get me started on the stack of stuff I need to get done. The calls to Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security are extremely important but are also going to be very stressful. I might actually just call and set up appointments to meet with someone at each office. If I do that, then I can bring someone with me in case I get frazzled. Once I start getting stressed, I know I won't be able to comprehend what they're telling me, so it's nice to have someone there to ask questions I might not think to. Nice to have someone there for support to help keep me calm.


Blogger BipolarPrincess said...

I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I'm thinking about you. I've been busy being mommy, which is not really my forte! I hope you are well, email me anytime!

12:06 AM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger James said...

I hate when things are ruined because of bad memories from the past. I have that issue with certain Dave Matthews songs because of an ex-girlfriend. I hate that it still has that hold on me.

12:56 PM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

Thr trouble with flashbacks are their unpredictibility. I am wishing you calmer seas.

7:33 PM, November 25, 2007  
Blogger Marie said...

Don't try to do everything at once! No Superwoman syndrome here! Take one day at a time and the rest will fall into place!

11:01 AM, November 26, 2007  

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