Choking
When you're so used to being depressed, often times it is difficult to notice when things start to worsen until, that is, you start suffocating in a quagmire of hopelessness. Today I finally realized that's exactly where I am...choking on the bitter bile of a life that isn't worth living.
A million thoughts are coursing through my brain, feverishly working to drown out the tiniest bit of sanity left inside which is screaming out from some remote corner, "it's NOT okay to die". Every champion for life, however, is nullified by a bellowing chorus of protest: "but it's not fair to suffer this much".
There is no "fair" when it comes to life though. I know this. I just haven't a clue how to accept it and keep moving forward.
3 Comments:
It's no fair. It does suck, though. Accepting it just means acknowledging that it exists and is so, doesn't mean not acknowledging that it sucks.
No, no such thing as fair in this world. I agonise over this too.
I'm with you. I detest this world most of the time with all this suffering. There can't be a "God" with all of us with defected brains.
If there is a "God" I don't fear hell as I live hell everyday.
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