Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Holy crap am I drunk right now. I went to one of my favourite stores to buy alcohol...Cost Plus World Market...earlier today. The one that was nearer to me closed down so I drove out to the next nearest one, using the excuse that the chat room I tend to hang out in is planning to have a get-together in July when someone from out of town is coming for a conference of some type. It's in that general area so I convinced myself I was just going out there to get info about hotels and possible places we could all hook up at to eat dinner and have a few drinks.

I bought 5 bottles of wine and drank two of them tonight. Overkill? Most definitely, but the whole wide world is mine....or so says the Angels & Airwaves song currently playing on the $250 iPod I purchased today. I'm quite out of control tonight...and that's probably a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge understatement.

The fact that I walked out of Best Buy with just the iPod and not the flat-screen tv I was looking at too shows that I had some self control. I'm still waiting to hear from the ex about the divorce. If he doesn't contact me soon, I'm just going to spend that money on a tv, since the one we currently have is quickly dying.

Tomorrow, today...or whatever friggan day, the kiddie is going to help her boyfriend decorate for his little sister's "half" birthday. They do a half birthday so she can spend it with her friends. I must be a mean mommy, because I never did a half birthday for my daughter so she could receive anything except winter gifts since her b-day is in January.

I'm overall just a deficient mommy because I'm home but I'm not really here. I'm lost in the liquor that's seeping through every inch of my being. I know I'm pissing booze, but I'm also probably sweating it out through every pore in my body.

I'm so far gone at this point that I don't know if I should just try to stay awake for fear of alcohol poisoning, if I should just try to sleep it off or call 911. I'm lost.


Blogger tracy said...

Please, please write again soon, so we will know you are okay!!! By the way, i know how it is with the wine these days.....

8:54 AM, March 25, 2009  
Blogger Barb said...

I don't think most people celebrate "half" birthdays. This does not make you less of a mother. You're "there but not really there" is because of your illness. Since I've known you, I know you put your daughter first. That says a lot.

9:24 AM, March 26, 2009  

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