Sunday, July 12, 2009

Terribly wrong

You know something is terribly wrong with your mind when you dream that you're being sexually molested by a female relative, only to wake up, fall back asleep and have another dream where you're conversing with a bunch of white rabbits as a huge wanted poster hangs on the wall beside you and pictured on it is an extremely large rabbit that's wanted for raping humans.

Even Alice never tripped that badly. So let that be a warning to anyone that decides to mix Seroquel and Darvocet, large doses of Clindamycin and ibuprofen, and then add beer into the mix as well. I'll definitely refrain from ever doing that again.

In other news, I'm contemplating whether or not I should go to the outpatient group at the hospital tomorrow morning. A part of me thinks it would be a good idea, especially since I'm struggling with my emotions and with keeping myself safe. Another part of me thinks it would be a bad idea, because I am struggling with my emotions and trying to keep myself safe.

I'm just not sure I can handle the added stress, not after how badly last week, in its entirety, sucked ass. I'm treading on already dangerously thin ice and I know tomorrow is going to be a crappy day because 1) I see my therapist; and 2) I'm having a root canal done that I can't afford to pay for. Do I really want to risk adding to my misery by attending a group that may or may not turn out to be very triggering?


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