Absurd concept

Every time I see that 296.34 diagnosis, I can't help but think of Jean Valjean from Les Misérables. In that musical, his prisoner# is 24601. My mind has already begun to think of me as of prisoner 29634. Since the place I'm held captive seems so much more dark, cold, cruel and terrifying than a real prison, maybe it's more fitting than even I realize.

Tomorrow is the first of the weekly blood draws I need to have done for the Clozaril. I really hope things go smoothly because if someone fucks up doing their job, I'm the one that will have to suffer the consequences. If the blood results aren't faxed to the pharmacy in a timely manner, meaning they need to be there by Saturday morning at the latest, I won't be able to get my refill. No refill means my account will be terminated in the system that tracks the prescriptions and blood results for patients taking Clozaril and I'll have to start over from square one.

Since history has proven that most people can't be trusted to do their jobs accurately, I plan on calling the pharmacy every Friday to make sure they not only have the blood results, but also that they have the medication in stock. I'm sure they will get sick and tired of me calling every week, but oh well.

Of course if I continue to feel as drugged as I have since starting this stuff, I have a feeling I won't be taking it long term. My pdoc did tell me he might have to give me a prescription for Provigil in order to offset the sedation the Clozaril causes, but I have never been one to comprehend the logic behind taking one med to feel better, having it make you feel worse and then taking yet another drug in order to manage the side effects of the first drug. To me, that whole concept is just absurd.