Sunday, April 28, 2013

Haven't really addressed much

Tomorrow I'm supposed to review my treatment plan with my therapist. I've had my copy of the thing sitting in my inbox since she gave it to me because I felt there were things we needed to discuss about it and I tried bringing some of those things up in our early sessions, but we never really got anywhere with them. Now after reviewing what was on the plan I can honestly say that, after six months, we haven't really addressed much.

I did finally confess to her last week that I had gone off all my meds, but that I have also since gone back on all of them. I feel like shit on or off them and at this point I'm too damn confused as to what to do, so I'll just stay on them until I see my pdoc next month. My head feels foggy and my memory problems are much worse while taking them, but they've already done so much damage, I don't think I'll ever be able to function at the mental capacity I once did, so what difference does it make if I keep taking them.

There is so much on my calendar this week and next week, and I'm not really looking forward to any of it. We have a NAMI fundraiser coming up next weekend that we have to put the finishing touches on this week, plus I have to clean my house because a friend of mine is coming out to help with the fundraiser and will be staying with me. Then the following week I have to help my daughter move home for the summer. I wish there was some way to do an I Dream of Jeannie, just blink and have it all be done. I have very little physical energy and no mental energy to do any of this.


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