What to say...

Not really sure I have anything to say today. Still trying to break myself free of this funk I've been in. After sleeping most of the day I did take a shower, that felt good. I felt better today than I have. It's only a slight improvement, but I'll take it.

Getting anxious about this party Saturday and hoping I can get everything together so there aren't any problems. Still trying to figure out how to transport all the girls I have to drive. Trying to make a list of things I can't forget to bring like tape to put up the decorations and a knife to cut the cake with.

Trying to decide if I dare bring a swimsuit and at least sit in the hot tub. I'd have to wear my cover-up in the water because I don't want all my daughter's friends or anyone else to see all the scars on my arms. But wearing it just brings attention to the fact that I'm trying to cover something up. My sister is coming and bringing her two daughters with, so I pretty much feel I have to go in either the pool or the hot tub because she will be.

So much sleep, but I'm still so tired. Don't think I'm over-sleeping though. Just think my body's trying to tell me it desperately needs this rest. That being manic and doing so much last month just wore me down. Plus getting sick and then with the fucking three week cycle to boot. Ugh.

I'm so out of it that I think I doubled my dose of meds yesterday. There was only half a Seroquel in Thursday's slot. Maybe that's why today was better, I took 300 mgs of Zoloft yesterday vs the 150 I'm supposed to be taking. Course that'll mean tomorrow will suck because I didn't take any Zoloft today. Lets hope that's not the case.

What a boring post. Better stop now and head back to bed before I fall asleep at the computer reading this.