Exhausted

I'm so exhausted it's not even funny. Didn't get much sleep last night because I had to be up early for the Out of the Darkness walk. There were over 400 people registered to walk. I don't know if all of them showed up, but it was pretty crowded. They passed out beads, each symbolizing why you were walking. I wanted to go up to all those wearing the beads signifying they'd lost someone to suicide and tell them I was sorry for their loss. Shame kept me from doing it because I was afraid of what they'd think seeing the green beads around my neck symbolizing that I personally struggle with mental illness. My involvement in the whole thing still weighs heavily on my mind as being completely hypocritical.

After the walk I came home and tried to nap, but didn't have much success. Somehow I have to get to sleep soon because I have to be up early again tomorrow. Have to get at least some of the laundry done before I head over to my brother's house.

I don't even want to go tomorrow. I just want to curl up in my bed and forget there is a world that exists outside my window. I hope this depressed feeling that's overtaking me right now is a result of my lack of sleep and not a hint of something worse to come.