Hoping to sleep

I've not had a decent night's sleep since Wednesday and feel as if I could collapse at any minute, though I doubt it would be into a peaceful sleep. Part of the reason is because I haven't really bothered to take any Seroquel. It's been getting harder and harder to persuade myself to take it because it either doesn't work, or I'm zonked out so badly that I can't seem to drag myself out of bed.

Being extremely intoxicated on Thanksgiving didn't help either because in my drunken state I didn't get any sleep at all. Instead I decided it'd be a really good idea to camp out at Best Buy in hopes of getting my daughter the laptop they had advertised for under $400. Having never camped out before for a Black Friday sale, I didn't know what to expect. Let's just say it was a lesson in futility learned really quick by the drunk girl. I walked away with nothing except a feeling of stupidity, and I was pretty damn close to the front of the line. It's so nice to see retailers getting away with the old bait & switch scam on such a mass scale the day after Thanksgiving. As they say, fool me once, shame on me.

So tonight, in just a minute or two, I will be taking the Seroquel despite a heavy reluctance. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the dickhead pdoc that charges my insurance $175 for 15 mins of his time. Think this is the last time I see him on a monthly basis because I believe my implant is cranked up as far as they're going to turn it. After him, I get to see my T.

Hopefully I'll sleep, because the lack of sleep is fueling my depression. That and the stress from all the bills, and now phone calls too, I keep receiving from my daughter's trip to the ER. I managed to last seven months before needing to be hospitalized again last month. I just want things to settle down so I can last at least another seven months, or maybe longer this time.