Getting my eye sight back

Guess I'm off my short-lived hiatus. I miss writing here. I need this outlet if for nothing else than to clean the clutter of thoughts from my head. I could have gone back to my handwritten journal, but didn't bother to. I think that's pretty much been relegated to an inpatient thing since there's no internet access in the looney bin.

Talked to the lawyer today. It's been so long since I had contact with him that he didn't even remember my situation. He did say that if my ex doesn't get his ass in gear that I can either just go ahead and file without him or he offered to call the ex himself and kind of chew him out for me. I told him we'd hold off on that for the moment because I've been assured that the ex is going to give me his paperwork on Sunday, so we'll see if that actually happens before I take any other action.

I also made it quite clear to the ex that I have no intention on continuing to do all this paperwork on my own. I said that I'd try to find a library either midway between us or hell, even closer to him, that we could meet at a few nights during the week so he can assist me with this. Reluctantly he agreed, mainly because I'm not giving him any choice nor am I allowing him to back out for any reason. I'll just keep dangling the whole "you'll have to do this all on your own if you're not willing to work on it together" threat over his head. If he can use my weaknesses against me for manipulation purposes, then I sure as hell can do the same.

Again he's offered up convincing evidence as to where exactly my daughter learned to lie from, so I've removed the blame from myself and placed it squarely on him. This week he lied about losing the ticket he'd gotten for the kiddie's school play. Turns out he didn't really lose it. He simply decided that he needed to have his girlfriend with him and because they were assigned seats, he needed to buy two more in order for them to sit together. Actually I bought them, but I have every intention of making sure I get reimbursed for that on Sunday when I see him because there's no fucking way in hell I'm spending any money on him and even less of fucking chance I'm spending a single cent on her.

I still think it's entirely inappropriate for him to be inviting this fucking woman to anything that involves my daughter and I plan to reiterate that when I see him. He'd be fucking raging and screaming at me if the roles were reversed and I was inviting a boyfriend I hadn't known very long to join in my daughter's life and activities. Would probably even threaten to sue for custody if I tried something like that, so I don't know why he seems to feel it's okay for him to do it.

The further I let go of the emotional connection I had with him, the more I see him for the asshole he truly is. Love really is fucking blind and I'm so glad I'm finally getting my eye sight back. I actually feel sorry for his new girlfriend. She has no idea what she's gotten herself into. Hopefully it won't take her long to realize that he's an untreated bipolar that is afraid to be alone, thinks only with his dick, is driven in life only by his grandiose dreams that will never materialize and is completely irresponsible, particularly in the finance department.

Just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out. Live and learn I guess.