Seen the evil

I've seen the evil that lurks within and by that I mean, literally, I've seen it...with my own two eyes. Twice in the last six months the beast has shown itself in the middle of the night. I've felt its weight on me, pinning me to the bed as it tries to reenter my body. Last night, I woke and was able to shake it off. Startled by my screams, I could see it bound from spot to spot within my bedroom, looking for a shadow to hide within.

I don't know what shape it took. All I could see were the eyes. The eyes of pure hatred, pure murderous rage, staring back at me. I rushed to the light switch as fast as I could hoping to ensnare it in a web of illumination, but I was too late, it had found a place to hide. Even after the entire bedroom was awash in light, I knew it was still there, watching me. Waiting for the chance to climb back inside its host.

Has it left my body more than the two times I've known about? Why does it leave? Is it hoping to manipulate me like a marionette, pulling on invisible strings to make me do something in the night while I am still deep in sleep?

Because of the drugs coursing through my veins...the Valium, the Seroquel, the Buspar, the Norco...I had to fight to stay awake. I think I only managed to remain alert for half an hour before I succumbed to the drowsiness the meds cause and fell asleep again. Even the glare of the bedroom lights, which I refused to turn off, could not keep me from sleep.

As I sit here, I'm still scanning the room, half expecting to see those eyes again. I scan my body, looking for some sign that it is back inside me. I'm scared to death.