Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm angry

As if dealing with self destruct mode wasn't enough, I had to get slammed with the flu. You'd think all the alcohol and the cocktail of meds I've been consuming would kill off any invading viruses or bacteria but I guess when they call this flu a "super bug" they aren't kidding. At least if I don't feel like seeing my therapist this week I have a valid excuse not to go.

Had to pick up some prescriptions today and while I was at the drug store I wandered over to the liquor department. All I kept thinking as I looked around was, "I don't know that I could ever become a full fledged alcoholic. I'm too snobby of a drinker and what I like is too expensive to keep this habit up". I did end up buying two bottles of wine anyway, because I already drank the two bottles I bought on Sunday.

Despite feeling so drained and weak because of this flu, I'm angry. I can feel it trying to push to the surface. I was supposed to do something with the anger, some homework my therapist gave me, but I've already forgotten what. I was going to email her on Monday and ask, but I feel like a twit that my short term memory is so horrible. I don't even know what I'm angry about. Maybe that was a part of my homework, to figure out why I'm so angry all the time....but that doesn't have an air of familiarity, doesn't seem at all like that was mentioned.

My head is all over the place right now. I can't even concentrate on this post so I'm going to end it here.


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