Stumbled

Walking the precarious line between life and death, I accidently stumbled onto the wrong side last night. I knew pretty quickly that something was wrong so I induced vomiting by shoving my toothbrush down my throat to rid my stomach of its toxic content. For a brief moment I thought of calling 911, but didn't feel safe doing so. The primary action they would have taken was the same one I did...induce vomiting. No sense bothering anyone else unless it's something truly life threatening.

I never once panicked. I was calm throughout the ordeal which lasted half the night. I stayed awake, keeping an eye on my pulse. Scanning my body for signs that things were worsening. I finally felt it was safe enough to fall asleep at around 4 am.

So I'm still here, still trying to push forward. Tonight the kiddie has a choir festival, which I don't want to attend, but have to. I made an appointment to get my hair done on Thursday despite the fact that I rarely bother to shower any more. Just trying to keep up with the illusion that life is okay and I'm doing what I have to in order to make it to tomorrow.