Thursday, September 17, 2009

Unreal

Normally when I go MIA for over a week, it usually means I'm in the hospital. That wasn't the case this time around though. I've just been at a complete loss for words. On the rare occasion when I could think of something to write about, the desire to sit down and generate a post wasn't there.

I've sunk into my own little hole of isolation where I'm not very cognizant of the world around me. Ask me what day it is and chances are I'll give you the wrong answer. Ask me if it's morning, afternoon or night and I'd get that wrong too. I've missed appointments and shown up days early for others. I'm a week ahead of everyone else, yet also a week behind.

I feel unreal, almost inhuman. I often wonder if I'm the only one living in my reality. Wonder if everyone and everything else is just a figment of my imagination. That's how powerful my disconnect from the world feels. It's as if I stopped ceasing to exist sometime over the past two weeks, but somehow I'm still in the midst of it all. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Maybe I was never here to begin with...

5 Comments:

Blogger Handsome B. Wonderful said...

I feel I've been in a similar place for awhile now. I haven't posted nearly much at all this whole year. I also never know what the date is too. I need to try posting more even if it's small stuff.

6:17 PM, September 17, 2009  
Blogger She Who Is said...

I think the only thing that keeps me from floating away like that is work. It forces me to be aware and know what day it is, etc, etc.

8:57 PM, September 17, 2009  
Anonymous atorturedsoul said...

I understand exactly what you mean. Right now, I am having days like that occasionally and I fear it is going to get worse.


I am always happy to listen if you need to vent.

8:15 AM, September 18, 2009  
Blogger Lili said...

I definitely,definitely have been where you are. Hold on honey though it seems like it's forever and there's no exit and you can't see the light at the tunnel one day you wake up and suddenly have a bit more of a grasp on the world around you. How it happens I do not know I just know that it does. Rest as you need to. Ultimately this phase will pass.

Hugs

10:26 AM, September 18, 2009  
Blogger Not Very Anonymous Mom said...

You're alot tougher than you give yourself credit for, Sid. Really.

I don't think it's always a bad thing to withdraw into your own reality. (Probably because I do it sometimes, too.)

11:40 AM, September 18, 2009  

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