Monday, August 23, 2010

Dread the sound

The time of day when I sense my daughter's absence the most is in the evenings, like right now. School or not, she would typically be in the living room, watching tv and/or on her laptop unless she was out somewhere with her boyfriend. Each time I step foot in there, which I must do to get to the kitchen, the garage or the bathroom, I can feel the bitter emptiness taunting me. If I'm headed to the bathroom, my anguish is further intensified by all the bare shelf space where my daughter's brushes, make-up and other items once resided.

I've heard from her often, though the news is not good and I've come to dread the sound of the text message alert on my phone. She has been sick since Friday with nausea, vomiting and dizziness. Since it has lingered this long and she has moments when she can keep food down, we've ruled out the stomach flu and food poisoning. The doctor at student health hasn't been able to offer a diagnosis. Yesterday she was told it could be acid reflux and was given a prescription for Prilosec or something along those lines. Today she almost passed out so she went back and the doctor gave her a prescription for an anti-nausea med. If that doesn't work, they will refer her to a specialist in town, but she didn't know what type of specialist.

Personally, I suspect stress and anxiety might be at play (along with a few other things), especially since none of this started until right after I left. Think she called about half an hour after I left to tell me she had thrown up. When she was little, she would panic any time it stormed, to the point she'd make herself throw up. Eventually she'd calm down and that would be the end of it, at least til the next big storm. But if this is anxiety, she's not calming down and she needs to because she already missed the first day of classes.

The mom in me wants to make her all better, and I feel beyond helpless, which is why I dread when she texts me. There's little I can do other than make suggestions on ways to care for herself, especially since I'm so far away and can't see her and see what she's going through to know what might work best. It's up to her to work with the doctor to figure this out. I just hope they can figure out what's wrong and quickly.


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