Life sucks

Still unsure if I should be in the hospital or not. I have only slept an hour in the past 48 and tonight is already looking like it'll be another sleepless one. I have not taken my medications in about a week. They weren't working anyway, so why bother. Even the Depakote seemed to have stopped working. I take an Ativan every now and then when I can't tolerate the anxiety any more, but other than that, I just tolerate the misery as best I can.

Even if I wanted to be in the hospital right now, I can't go anywhere until after this weekend. Supposedly I promised my daughter I'd take her to several appointments on Saturday. I thought she had made arrangements to have someone else drive, but she says I agreed to do it because no one else was available. I have no memory of the conversation, so maybe I did agree, maybe I didn't...who knows. Either way, I have since agreed, so I can't get out of it. They are important appointments, including seeing her doctor.

I've had several calls from friends the last few days about wanting to get together sometime soon, but as always, it's only if I go to THEIR house...most of which are about a 45 minute drive east or west. They never come to my house to visit. Sorry. My car is getting too old and needs work done on it, so I'm trying to drive it as little as possible, except when I need to get my daughter some place. I'm getting sick of people expecting me to do all the work of maintaining friendships. Actually, I'm just getting sick of people in general.

Life just sucks all around.