3 hours of sleep

Considering I've only had 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, I'm wide awake. That's scary.

I'm glad I didn't cancel on Belinda. We ended up having a great time last night. It was good to see her again. Been about a year since I last saw her. We went and saw the movie Saw. What a great flick that is. I'm gonna have to go see it again, it was that good. It's the best gory movie I've seen in a long time. One of the things I liked was that even though they do give one very subtle hint towards the beginning of the movie that does reveal how the movie will play out in the end, unless you can clue in on it, the ending is a big surprise. I've been recommending the movie to everyone.

After the movie, we went and had drinks. I was good, I only had three. Of course we got there at midnight and last call was at 1 am. I so hate the suburbs, nothing is open late. Next time we go out, I'm driving into the city to meet her. I'll get a hotel room if I have to, but at least we won't have to end the night early.

Today was pretty uneventful. Played chauffeur to the kiddie & some of her friends. They all went to a haunted house and then came back here to watch a movie. I ended up driving them all home as well. I don't really mind driving them around. They're all good kids and apparently if I don't drive them, none of the other parents will. Of course I have issues with that, but we'll save that rant for a later date.

I do feel like I'm going to hit the wall again. I can feel everything closing in on me. The negative thoughts are running rampant. The thoughts of harming myself are occurring much more frequently. I'm trying hard to counteract them, but they rush over me like a tidal wave and then I'm drowning in them. Trying to find a way to save myself, but at the same time, it feels nearly impossible to escape before they suffocate me.