Monday, October 25, 2004

Should I be angry?

Not sure if I should feel angry about two recent events. The old folks had gone up to visit my sister in Michigan last weekend. Now this weekend, both my sisters & their families went up to Wisconsin Dells for 5 days on a mini vacation. The kiddie and I weren't invited along either time.

Think the reason I do feel angry is because prior to my being diagnosed as mentally ill, we were always invited to join the family in anything they did. Even if they thought we probably wouldn't want to go, they still put the offer out there. Nowadays though, it's as if they pretend I don't exist. "Keep away from the crazy lady, she may go postal on us" is my guess as to what they're thinking.

I have a list of things I need to get done this week, but since I haven't assigned specific days or times to do them, I won't be working on any of them today. Suppose that could be my task for today...get those things scheduled so I do complete them. I did quite a bit this weekend so I'm mentally spent, I need to take it easy, at least for one day.

I was binging all weekend. Ate so much a few times I almost hurled. Now I have to starve myself for the next week to make up for eating so much. classic response...all or nothing. Is there really a grey area?


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