Saturday, March 12, 2005

Another excuse

The king of excuses strikes again. Though this time I actually believe his excuse might be true. The stupid fuckhead ex was supposed to pick up the kiddie today. Even made a point of telling me that instead of her all so he could tell me I could go out. As if I somehow needed his permission to do so. Anyway, he called today and told the kiddie he couldn't come get her because the sewer backed up into the basement. The only reason I'm inclined to believe this excuse is because that same thing has happened to my basement. Not fun, but thankfully my problem was more water than raw sewage and we caught it before it spread out of the laundry room into my bedroom or the family room.

Despite him not coming, I am at least getting a break from the kiddie for awhile. She's off at a friend's house. Only the second time she's been allowed over. Apparently this girl's parents, or at least her mother is very strict about having people over. I often wonder if it's because she only speaks Polish and feels uncomfortable with the kids all speaking English since she doesn't know what they're saying. I also often wonder why after being in America for 10 years she hasn't learned to speak English....I'll never understand that one.

So I have an appointment Monday with a therapist. Yes, the center called me back, amazing as that sounds to me. I wasn't too thrilled that they called and said "we have an appointment for you", not even bothering to inquire as to whether or not I was available. I know I'm not working, but that doesn't mean I don't do other things. In fact I'm booked for Tuesday and Wednesday.

I am already getting anxious about the appointment. Given my track record with therapists, I think it's completely justified. I really can't handle another setback. I let my give up and die date slide, and I have yet to reschedule it, but that doesn't mean I don't still desperately want to die. If something else negative goes wrong with trying to get help, I think that'll be it for me.

The freaky coincidence of everyone I've been involved with in therapy from that center having the same name as a female in my family continues. The main therapist and all the patients in the DBT group had the same names as all the adult females in what I'd consider my immediate mom, grandmother, two sisters, sister-in-law. One even had my old name. Now that we've run out of adult names, we've moved on to nieces. This therapist I'm meeting with Monday has the same name of my niece whose birthday was a few days ago. It's beyond weird.

I finalized the reservations for our spring break trip. We're leaving the 29th after the kiddie's dermatology appointment in the morning and coming back on April 3rd...5 nights. Now I just need to figure out what the hell to do with the bunny. Wonder if I should take him to the vet and get him fixed while we're gone that way I don't have to rely on someone else to take care of him. He's been biting lately. He's bit both the kiddie & my dad and I'm wondering if it's cuz he's sexually frustrated. I'm assuming they don't say "fuck like bunnies" for nothing.


Post a Comment

<< Home