Monday, March 14, 2005

Got me thinking

A post on the borderline board had me thinking earlier. Someone mentioned getting their therapist or pdocs address and showing up at their house, finding out what car was theirs, etc...essentially crossing boundaries. Got me thinking because I've often considered doing that with my pdoc, though I haven't yet crossed that boundary. I think about waiting in the parking lot til he comes out, or hoping I catch him when he arrives so I know which car is his. Want to find his address and see where he lives.

I won't ever do those things, because I don't want to consider myself a stalker or want anyone else to think that of me. I've had those thoughts for many, many years and not just toward mental health professionals, but have never once acted on them. I know it's wrong to invade someone's privacy like that and I wouldn't want someone to do it to me. I just found it weird that another borderline had those same thoughts. Has me wondering if that is a common behaviour among borderlines. If all those stalkers we hear about on the news actually have BPD. I don't think so because I've run across people with obsessions before that had nothing else wrong with them. But I still can't help but wonder.

Speaking of the news...I'd like to once again thank a crazy person and the media for helping to continue to perpetuate the stigma against the mentally ill. I think the only exposure a majority of the people in the world have to mental illness is when some nut job with a gun goes on a shooting rampage and the media sure plays that up. All I've heard about the shooting spree in Brookfield, WI is that the man suffered from depression. Watching CNN earlier all they mentioned is that no one knows why he killed except that he was depressed, they didn't even say anything about the victims. No one ever mentions the millions of others suffering from depression that try and lead productive lives that don't break laws and hurt or kill others. I know we're not as news worthy, but at least balance the picture out. It's one fucking nut job out of millions of people.

And why is it that these fuckers that go postal are almost always men?? I can't think of a single instance where it was a woman that did that, though I'm sure there have been. I'm thinking that it's not so much mental illness driving them to murder but testosterone. There are certainly more men incarcerated. Far more men are serial killers. Think we should start giving them some estrogen.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Men seem to only know how to express their feelings through violence.My brother once flew into a rage and nearly choked me to death,so I can easily see why so many men end up killing their wives and girlfriends,they just cant seem to control their anger.T.M

1:14 AM, March 14, 2005  
Blogger Polar Bear said...

Sid,
I am often also curious about my t. I usually like to know more about them, but I never actually follow them or anything like that. Like you, I believe that crosses a boundary and I'm more afraid that they will find out and stop seeing me.

I work very well with my current t, and I wouldn't do anything to jeapardise our relationship.

But I can't help being curious, though. I wonder if she has any kids (I like to think not). From the ring on her finger, I believe she has a husband.

I'm sure it's quite common for clients to be curious about their t. Being BPD just makes it more intense for us sometimes, I guess.

3:01 PM, March 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sid,I was reading over several of the last comments I wrote to you,and honestly Im just really embarrassed.I realize now what a pest I have been.I dont understand why I said some of the things I did and anyway,who do I think I am your best friend or something?Im really sorry,I could of sworn we engaged in conversation a couple of times but maybe I just dreamed it.But you did answer some of my questions and that was very helpful,thanks so much for that.Bye.T.M

11:50 PM, March 15, 2005  
Blogger The Mass Defective said...

Don't be embarrassed by anything you've posted. Nothing's bothered me.

12:11 AM, March 16, 2005  

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