Having a drink or two

Been drinking tonite. Decided to finish off the bottle of jack that's been sitting here. Just got tired of it taking up space. I was going to open a bottle of wine, but I couldn't find the wine glasses and I can't drink it out of any other kind of glass. It's actually been awhile since I had a drink. Haven't been in the mood which is probably a good thing. But I know I'll be drinking a lot this month. I'm sure I'll need a drink or two or three after my T apptmt Monday. Then St Patrick's day is Wednesday. Saturday is my niece's b-day party. That's just this coming week.

I broke out some of my cd's and have been listening to music since yesterday instead of watching tv. I remember when I didn't even bother to own a tv cuz I listened to music all the time. Now I rarely think to listen to it except in the car. I should move the kiddie's stereo into the living room since she doesn't use it. Then I'd be more tempted to play all the cd's I have collecting dust. The kiddie makes fun of me because I have to keep all the cd's and dvd's in alphabetical order and panic when something is out of place. Guess I'm a little neurotic about that, but it makes it easier to find stuff.

I've been thinking about the whole dating thing and whether I should start doing it. There are obstacles to overcome before I could even start, like getting my anxiety under control so I can leave the house, loosing some weight so I'm not a fat disgusting pig so a guy or girl might actually be interested in me, finding out where people my age hang out, getting the stupid fuckhead ex to take his daughter for the weekends. Shit, having to work thru all that doesn't even seem worth it just to become involved with someone that'll eventually dump me when they find out how fucking nutso I am.

I'm going back to drinking, I don't wanna think right now, I'll get too depressed.