Mixed signals

Talked to the ex about an hour ago and despite the sudden urge to drink even more than I already had, I'm not going to. I'm just going to post this and go to bed.

I didn't really want to talk to him but I guess he asked the kiddie to give me the phone once they were done talking so I took it. He started by telling me he was going to come by today to pick the kiddie up. Immediately I know something's up because he usually doesn't talk to me about that, he just shows up. First thought is, he wants to borrow money. But no, he tells me that we need to get together and talk about "some stuff". Said he didn't want to get into it right now so I didn't even bother to ask what stuff.

He then inquires as to how I'm doing and I said fine. Guess he was bothered by the fact that I didn't ask what he wanted to talk about so he says "well I didn't want to bring this up right now". All I could think was um..excuse me? What the hell is he bringing it up for then?

So here's what he wants to talk about...us. He says he's been getting the feeling I want to get back together with him and he's bothered by that. Our signals are definitely out of whack because the only reason I even began to think that might even be possible is because of the things he was saying to me. Saying he's screwed everything up for everyone, how sorry he is that he hurt me, saying he's worried and cares about me.

I matter-of-factly told him I wasn't expecting us to get back together and that I certainly wasn't pining away for him. Still he says he wants to get together for coffee and "put things out on the table". And oh...look at that, he just happens to have a job in the neighborhood this coming week, how convenient.

So I'm considering asking 2 questions if we do get together. 1) Why is he continually telling me all these regrets about us being over, making it seem he's the one that wants to get back together; and 2) What happened to the 'in sickness & in health' part of our marriage vows?

I think it's high time I asked him that second question. It still pisses me off that I took care of him for 7 years, without ever questioning it, but as soon as I'm sick he bolts. Feeds me all these bullshit lines that I couldn't leave him, couldn't break up our family, yet it's okie dokie for him to do it.

I just have to do all this without getting emotional. Don't want him to feel he has that power over me. Ha! This'll be good.