Building up

Pressure...an unrelenting pressure has been gradually building inside my head since yesterday. No idea what causes it. It's a feeling that happens most days when I've gotten some sleep. I wake up and feel like I've been kicked in the head. From there the feeling just intensifies, as if my brain is swelling. Some days it never gets beyond a dull ache. Other days it develops into a migraine. Yesterday it remained in the middle, painful enough to disturb my concentration completely, but yet not so painful that I was rendered completely useless.

The ex isn't coming later today to see his daughter. I have no idea why and that's probably a good thing given my rage lately. Only found out about it just before I put the kiddie to bed. She asked me how we were going to spend the day. Think it'll be a rent some movies and play board games day. Don't have the energy or desire to do anything more than veg. Don't think I have any money to do much else either.

Bought more concert tickets yesterday. This time we're off to Ft Wayne, Indiana to see Good Charlotte and Simple Plan. Surprised the kiddie because I don't think she was aware they were touring together. She'll get to miss school cuz it's next month on a Thursday and it's about a 3 hr drive so we'll drive out, go to the show & stay overnight. I wanted to get tickets to see Green Day cuz she really wants to see them, but the only tickets available at the show here were behind the stage. Wisconsin & Michigan were sold out. Missouri had tickets available, but those were also behind the stage. Maybe they'll come back around over the summer. Both Sum 41 & Good Charlotte are already coming back around so we'll see if Green Day follows suit, especially since they are more popular.

I really need to call the lawyer, at least about the bankruptcy. I have a post-it note on my computer reminding me daily to do it, yet for some reason I can't make the call. Even though I have no plans of discussing divorce, I still can't call. I'm a two time loser, maybe that's why. I'm also worried about losing my Visa check card. Even though it's tied to my checking account and I can't charge above my balance, they still treat it as a credit card. Bad credit...no card. I need that card though. Every adult needs at least one. Have to file though. No other option at this point given how much we owe and how little we take in. Pathetic.

That townhouse is still for rent. I should swing by during the day so I can get the phone number & see how much they're renting it for. It's small, I'd guess a maximum of 1200 sq ft, but I think it's less than that. Living room is small, kitchen is more or less just a galley style one. 3 bedrooms, but I've only seen one & it was tiny. One car garage. I'm assuming all the townhomes are the same. They look the same from the outside. Can't think rent would be that much. Things can't sell for more than 100 grand given their size & location. Guess I'll add that to my to do list.

I'm feeling blah & can't really think much. Guess I'll head off to play games for a bit. Take the Seroquel and wait for it to kick in.