Hurt

Did it make you feel like a man to hurt an innocent child?

I know now why I was chosen. I was the ideal victim...timid, painfully shy, desperate for attention from anyone willing to give it. Disconnected from everyone else that you knew I wouldn't tell anyone. You didn't even have to make threats of harm.

I was so naive that I didn't even know at the time what you were doing was wrong. Of course little kids are supposed to be that naive. They're not supposed to be versed in the body as a sexual object because their bodies are not supposed to be viewed that way by anyone.

Do you even realize how sick you were? Are you still that sick?

I still remember. I can't seem to ever forget. I didn't repress these memories, I've carried them with me this whole time. Afraid to put them down. Afraid someone would blame me for being dirty. Blaming myself for not speaking up and stopping it.

It sickens me to think that to this day I can't bring myself to tell anyone what you did to me. To think that you may have done this to my sisters or to someone else. I can't know if you did. I would take the blame for it.

But it's not my blame to take, it's yours. Will you ever own up to that?