Thursday, June 09, 2005

Posting too much

I think I'm posting too much lately but there's just this log jam of thoughts that I need to let out or I'll explode. Most are mundane and idiotic and not worth the font space on this blog, but I have nowhere else to deposit them. There used to be days in the past where I'd walk around with my journal, writing in it for hours. Therapeutically it probably didn't do much good but physically it provided some relief. Helped with the headaches I'd been having.

Problem is, with all these thoughts, I can't concentrate on what I need or want to. I tried thinking about my homework question and I can't get inside my own head to find an answer. Maybe subconsciously it's a defensive strategy to prevent me from realizing the truth. Whatever it is, I'm sure Ms. N won't believe that I really tried.

There was a news story awhile back about personal information on the internet. I remembered the site name so I went there yesterday and sure enough, they had the home address and phone number for my pdoc. Don't know what possessed me to even look. I have no desire whatsoever of going over there. Wouldn't want him invading my privacy...oh wait, he already has. But he didn't come to my home, so I would never go to his. I feel guilty for even having acquired this personal knowledge about him. (FYI, my name isn't on the site...I'm not important enough a person to be on there or rather, just haven't done anything like buy a house to generate any public records. But for those that are curious, the site is www.zabasearch.com)

Anyway, haven't talked with the ex since Sunday. Not sure if that's good or bad. Haven't really spent much time focusing on that at all. Seems far too complicated an issue to handle this week. Everything seems too complicated this week. I just keep my focus on getting thru the day without hurting myself.

2 Comments:

Blogger Polar Bear said...

This is YOUR blog, Sid. You can post as many times as you want.

Sometimes I get lots of thoughts in my head too, and it always helps to write them down somewhere. It's almost like you're "shedding" those thoughts when you write them down.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rather rough time right now. Go easy on yourself, be good to yourself.

Take care
Polar Bear

2:38 PM, June 09, 2005  
Blogger Humblejohn said...

Hey Sid,
I'm with Polar Bear... post all you want. Get it out, it's what blogging here is about. I wish I could type as I would say more myself. Besides what it does for you , it helps others to know they aren't suffering in this crazy world alone. Take Care. john

8:54 PM, June 09, 2005  

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