Saturday, June 04, 2005

Summer vacation begins

School is officially over for the summer. The kiddie went out with her friends after school yesterday to kind of celebrate. She's been complaining ever since that she doesn't want school to be over because she'll miss everyone. I didn't remember until just now, but I should remind her that it was only a year ago that she moved in here and spent the whole summer with me because she didn't know anyone yet. At least this summer she'll be able to get together with friends pretty much every day.

Later today we have our Sum 41 concert. Just my luck, it's an outdoor concert and it is supposed to be hot & muggy with a chance of showers. I kind of hope it does rain. I can handle that. I can't handle the heat; and the humidity is an even bigger irritant. First chance this year for heat stroke, joy. I need to find a place on earth to live that has spring, fall & winter but no damn summer. No temps over 80 and no humidity!

I've been reading the book White Oleander by Janet Fitch. Not because it was an Oprah book club read either. It just happened to be one of the books I randomly picked up off the shelf and the sleeve made it sounded at least minimally interesting. Turns out it's an excellent book. Towards the end of chapter 22 it reads:

"...Reverend Thomas explained damnation. The damned could be saved, he said, anytime. But they refused to give up their sins. Though they suffered endlessly, they would not give them up, even for salvation, perfect divine love.
I hadn't understood at the time. If sinners were so unhappy, why would they prefer their suffering. But now I knew why. Without my wounds, who was I? My scars were my face, my past was my life."

I really relate to that question...without my wounds, who am I? What I went thru in my past has shaped me into the person I am today. All of it, the good, the bad, the sickening. If I try to heal the wounds, erase the scars, change who I've become then I'm no one anymore am I? Reinvention isn't impossible, but doesn't it just create a false reality? Just food for thought I guess.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dambnation means spiritual death,eternal death.The mind is supposed to be only temporary and when it dies so do we.But to be saved means to be cleansed of our sins so that our spirit can be united with God,and the only way thats supposed to be able to happen is by being cleansed with the blood of Jesus.He came to save us from eternal damnation by being our sacraficial lamb.He had to die and be resurrected,and by repenting of our sins and choosing him as our personal savior we will be cleansed by his blood, and when we die our spirits will be reserrected with him.Then we become one with the Holy Spirit,then we,ll become whole again as we were created to be in the beginning before we became sinners.
Thats what its supposed to mean to be saved.

Billy

2:46 AM, June 04, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wanted to share that with you because thats what salvation is according to the bible,but maybe you already knew that.Its just that some people have different views of what it means and it can be very confusing.But I wasnt sure if this guy your talking about was a christian,you said he was a reverend but I didnt know.What religion is he?
Billy

3:13 PM, June 04, 2005  
Blogger borderline savvy said...

Two comments, Sid.

First, Colorado has fall, spring and winter with mild temperatures (especially in the mountains where I live) and no humidity. Just thought I'd let you know.

And no, I don't think you'd be who you are if you changed everything. You are special just the way you are. You have scars, I have scars, and they are part of what makes the tapestry of our lives. Who wants to be the same as everybody else, an automoton slaved to uniformity? You're great, Sid. I just hope you come to see that.

Big hugs,
Suzanne

7:33 PM, June 04, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure,if you had a happy childhood with parents who were loving,and you wernt abused,then instead of being miserable you might have been happy and fullfilled,how horrible that would have been.

2:36 AM, June 05, 2005  

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