Word of the day...FUCKING

Gawd that fucking fade in & out I added to this blog is fucking annoying. Thought it was pretty neat the first time, but it gets old fast. Yes...there's that word "neat" again. When I use the word "neat", that's like the ultimate way of saying it was kinda kewl the first time, but fucking stop it already before I get homicidal. Course I say neato to the kiddie all the time when she's showing me stuff or telling me stuff I just honestly couldn't care less about but that I feign interest in cuz I do like when she talks to me and I don't want her to stop. An example being that I don't give a fuck about Harry Potter & she knows this, yet she continually tries to give me a play by play of the book. Neato gets her to shut up pretty fast because she can't stand when I say it. I love her to death but paybacks are a bitch kiddo...deal with it.

Anyway, I'm in a fucking weird mood and yes I'm going to say fucking as many fucking times as I want today or any other fucking day for that matter. I'm just really fucking tired. Got up at 9 am yesterday, or there about, so I could help this guy from my NAMI group move, cuz I'm a fucking nice person. I was 10 mins later than I said I would be. I fucking hate being late, but I desperately needed Starbucks with a few extra shots to get my fucking lazy ass moving.

He's a nice guy, so I didn't mind helping him. He was in an assisted living situation for the mentally ill. He's bipolar, anxiety ridden and OCD. His roommate is schizophrenic, not functioning well and that was triggering his symptoms so he decided to move out. I was expecting this dump in the ghetto, but it was actually a pretty nice apartment in a fairly decent neighborhood. Small but clean. Nice to see some respect shown to the mentally ill instead of treating us like second class citizens as so often is the case.

Made me wish I could fucking afford my own place again. But I've decided that I have to stay here one more year whether I like it or not. The kiddie starts 8th grade next month & then after that it's on to high school. Even though they all go to the same jr high now, her friends are being split up in high school. Most of the ones she hangs out with these days are going to a different high school than the one she would go to, unless she gets into a special orchestra program which is only offered at the one high school in district that everyone else is going to. So I was thinking today that if I just wait to move out next summer, then I can move one town over, thus guaranteeing she'll spend her high school days with her closest friends whether she makes it into the orchestra program or not. I'm so fucking smart sometimes.

So it's fucking after 1 am and I'm fucking exhausted so I'm gonna take my fucking meds and fucking crash. That fucking fade thingy is gonna have to fucking stay til I get around to fucking removing it later today.