New T

Not really sure what to say about her. The thing that I remember most about her was her tiny feet. She's of average height, but has the smallest feet of any adult I've met. Not sure why I remember that more than anything else. Just seemed odd I guess.

I did write something up for her about myself. Letting her know a bit about my history and what some of my biggest obstacles are. I was afraid she'd be put off by it and wonder why I'm even in therapy, but she said she's willing to work with me. Said that she'd put in as much effort as I do. Told her all the things I didn't like about my last T Ms. N, which I'm hoping she will keep to herself. Won't surprise me if she does share though. People aren't known for keeping the things I tell them to themselves, which is why I don't tend to share a whole lot.

She's one of the senior clinicians there, so maybe with the extra experience she'll be of more help to me than the other T's I've worked with in the past. She said she likes to be straight-forward and will call me on my bullshit. In return, she told me that I should call her on hers if I think something is a bunch of crap. That may take some getting used to because I tend to internalize everything.

I'm going to be given homework each week. Not too keen on that idea, but I'll wait until I see what kind of homework she's referring to. This week it is to go thru my DBT materials and pull out the stuff that I think works and/or stuff that I'm seriously willing to try. She's just learning about DBT so hopefully she won't be harping on me to try all the stuff that I don't genuinely feel will help me.

She did give me her email address, which is a first for me. I am better able to convey my feelings and thoughts by writing so it'll be nice that I have that option available to me. I already have something I want to send her, but I don't want to start abusing the ability to email. I'll wait and see if something more pressing happens during the week. What I have so far is just an article about acting-in borderlines in which I highlighted the parts I relate to. If something more pressing comes up, I'll just print the article and bring it with me next week.

I'm kind of in the middle as far as acting-in vs acting-out. For the most part I act-in. I keep everything bottled up inside and abuse myself with it. But there are times when I can't control myself and I just explode at someone else. Luckily that isn't too often. Think if it happened often I'd probably be in jail because I can get quite ugly.

The kiddie has an event at school tonight. The academy kids are doing a lock in. I have no idea why it only runs til 6 am though. Guess they don't want anyone to actually sleep. They're going to keep them up all night. Which in turn means I need to be up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am to pick her up. I didn't even get up that early when I had a job, so I'm certainly not looking forward to doing it tomorrow. Think I'd best get to bed now so I'm not too out of it to drive.