Pessimist

Thoughts of what I need to deal with tomorrow are already driving my anxiety thru the roof. I haven't heard back from the state about getting my daughter on some health insurance, so that is call #1 I have to make. Call #2 is to the orthopaedic doctor she saw last month who we're supposed to have a follow up visit with on Wednesday. Since the kiddie has no insurance and hasn't been able to attend physical therapy yet, there's no point in keeping that appointment. However, I need to persuade them to write another note excusing her from gym because she's still in too much pain and can barely walk most days let alone run laps for 45 minutes.

This stuff is stressful to me. What I have to do seems fairly straight-forward and easy, but it doesn't include that "what if" part. What if the state tells me that they never received the information I mailed? Or, what if they've forwarded the information to the local office and the local office claims they never received it (that's happened before)? What if the orthopaedic doctor isn't understanding of the situation and won't write another note because they haven't gotten paid for the last visit (I still have no clue if the old insurance was even valid for that date of service because of bullshit with the ex)?

Call me a pessimist, but these "what ifs" are the types of situations that always arise for me. Things never go smoothly. I've come to expect something bad will happen, something that is usually out of my control, yet I am still totally unprepared for it because it creates stress, my biggest enemy. Something goes wrong and I haven't a clue how to straighten it out. I shut down or worse.

A part of me wants to dump this on the ex since it's his damn fault she doesn't have insurance. But he's so fucking retarded when it comes to things like this that he usually just makes the situation worse. He doesn't ever bother to follow up and get the appropriate information.

Dealing with all the bullshit, it's no wonder I suffer from ulcers and acid reflux problems. Plus tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist...joy.