Saturday, June 30, 2007

Tipsy tonight

Drank for the first time in quite awhile tonight. It was my niece's birthday and the only way I can calm my anxiety when I'm at their house is to drink. Or maybe I just drank because my brother, my sister-in-law and just about everyone in her family drinks, A LOT. Borderlines are known to mimic the actions of those around us. I only had four or five Corona's, with lime of course. That was enough to get me tipsy but not full on drunk. It did help me lighten up and forget that I hate being around other people.

I have to say I miss drinking. It's not as if I don't have liquor around here at home, there's a bottle of Jack Daniels and one of Bacardi sitting on my desk, plus there's a bottle of wine in the fridge that's been chilling for awhile. I just haven't had a taste for any of it and the few times I have, I couldn't drink because I had to drive the kiddie somewhere.

My sister has asked me to dog & house sit for her next week so she can go out of state to visit our other sister, the one that doesn't speak to me anymore. I probably will do it cuz it means moving in to her place for a week and that in turn means getting away from the old people. The other upsides to doing it are...the pool, an awesome home theatre and their house is only about 10 minutes away from where I take the kiddie to summer school at.

Today I told her my theory on why our older sister doesn't talk to me. I think she's afraid to because I think I'm a blatant reminder of just how fucking screwy in the head she is and she doesn't want to accept that she's mentally ill too. Of course she doesn't really talk to anyone in the family, it's her husband that asks for company, though not from me.

The alcohol has made me sleepy tonight, so I guess I'll head off to bed. Talked to the stupid fuckhead earlier and he said he was sick again, so I don't know if he's going to bother picking his daughter up tomorrow. Glad I didn't tell him I was going to demand the child support or I know for sure he won't show up.


Blogger sansanity said...

Borderlines are known to mimic the actions of those around us.

those words have haunted me for almost 2 weeks. there was a sudden clarity that those words brought to my life, my actions.

11:06 PM, July 15, 2007  

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