Panicky

Intense anxiety keeps washing over me in waves. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm drowning in panic, unable to breathe. I'd like to take some Valium, but my supply is limited and I feel as if though I should save it for when I really need it.

Tomorrow, if I don't end up backing out, I have an appointment with my therapist, which might explain why I'm so panicky. I don't want her to overreact to the things I may or may not tell her. From the outside looking in, my situation is far more scarier and dire than it is from my perspective.

If I do go, I'm going to be on guard because I already feel as if I'll be walking into a trap. I'll leave early and make sure everything appears safe before I go in the building. I'll also watch the receptionists and see if they're acting suspiciously. The first sign of anything out of the ordinary and I'm leaving.

People try to be so sneaky and I've fallen victim to their deceit before, but I refuse to let it happen again. As the saying goes...fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.