Thursday, September 23, 2010

A little choppy

Given that I haven't done any kind of exercising or heavy lifting, I have to assume that I must've been fighting off imaginary enemies in my sleep, because the muscles in my arms ache like all hell. No place else, just my arms. I did lug groceries in the house yesterday, which probably didn't help, but it sure didn't cause the problem since I've had it for several days now.

Sleep has been difficult, but at least I'm getting some. I typically don't fall asleep until after 2 am and wake several times during the early morning hours before finally getting out of bed, usually around 10 am. I'd love to just stay in bed and sleep the entire day away.

I have no interest in engaging in life right now. On a good day, I might shower. On a really good day, I might even leave the house to run a quick errand. But for the most part my days consist of moving between my bed, my desk and the couch. At least I still change my clothes. Sometimes I even eat.

The last couple of days have been nice because the house has been deserted except for me, so I don't have the usual massive dose of guilt that comes along with being a reclusive bum. The old people are on the East coast for a wedding and won't be back til the middle of next week. My daughter is busy this weekend and won't be coming home, so I have at least another 5 days of complete seclusion. I'm going to enjoy it as best I can.

The only trouble I have with being alone is the fear I have of someone breaking in to the house, which is always present even when someone else is here with me, becomes much more intense. I'm almost tempted to sleep in the foyer because it's the only place where you can hear what's going on upstairs and downstairs. I'm constantly checking the doors and windows. Last night I even slept with a huge knife under my pillow.

Reading back through this post, to me it seems a little choppy, which is exactly how the thoughts are forming inside my head. Think about one thing for a little bit, then something else comes to mind. They may or may not be related, but there seems to be an abrupt start and stop to all of them.


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