If it's going to happen

Saw the pdoc on Monday. Since we're running out of treatment options, he tried being creative again. Unfortunately, the medication he prescribed isn't covered by my insurance. I'm not surprised because the med was phentermine. Never heard of it? Yeah, neither had I. It's one half of the drug fen-phen, the weight loss drug that was removed from the market after it was determined to cause major heart problems. Supposedly the half he wanted me of to take increases norepinephrine in the brain and doesn't carry the same health risks as the other half, fenfluramine, but I'm not really one to believe the results of any study, especially when it's done by a drug company or someone who has a conflict of interest (aka pretty much the entire American Psychiatric Assoc.) and is therefore heavily influenced and most likely bias.

Tuesday I went and saw a medical doctor, something I've been avoiding for a year & a half. Figured I'd better go if I plan to be walking around Disney World in January, because right now I can't walk or stand for more than 10 minutes without having some serious lower back pain. Ended up getting an x-ray and blood work done. Also scheduled the dreaded mammogram too. Okay, it's not that dreaded. I have big boobs so it doesn't hurt as much as it would for someone with little boobs.

I'm slowly working on getting my body used to exerting itself so I can start losing the pounds I've been packing on. I've already stopped using food as a form of self injury, so one hurdle to getting fit has been removed. With my back hurting as much as it does, I've been limited to 10 minute intervals on the treadmill, which I try to do twice a day. I also stretch for half an hour at least once a day. Doesn't seem like much, and I haven't noticed any weight loss, but it's better than just sitting on the couch all day.

Now that I've moved away from food, I have been worrying about what method of self injury I'll turn to next. My hope is nothing, that I stop torturing myself altogether, but if it's going to happen, as I mentioned before, I do hope it's over-exercising.