A rock and a hard place

I'm coming undone. There. I admit it. Unfortunately (or maybe that's fortunately) no one around me on a daily basis has caught on yet. I spend at least 70% of the day dealing with anxiety. Some caused by internal triggers, but most from outside triggers.

The biggest stressor involves the kiddie and the apartment she's signed a lease for. They aren't moving in until July 1st, but before they can get the keys, she has to put down her share of the deposit, which is $600. Problem is she can't find a job. She has put in a good 40-50 applications and hasn't even gotten a single call back for an interview even though many of the places clearly stated that they are actively hiring.

She's been frustrated, but not nearly as me. I spent hours yesterday trying to think of places that she hasn't applied to, something she should have been doing herself. I told her last night that she no longer has the luxury of picking & choosing what kind of job she'd like to be working. I don't care if she has to submit another 100 applications or even has to work at McDonald's, she needs to start bringing money in ASAP, If not, the rent & utilities will come out of the money I've been putting aside each month for our Disney trip.

Another huge stressor is the cuts to Medicaid that Illinois approved the other day. Some of them I understand, but one of them cuts my Medicaid benefits off completely. They've reduced the income level at which people can receive Medicaid to 133% of the federal poverty level. I make more than that. So now I will no longer qualify for the extra help I've been getting from Medicaid, which was paying my copays, coinsurance, deductibles, etc. That means no more medical care for me at all, especially not for mental health services, which are paid at a lower rate than other medical services. If I land in the hospital just once, I'll be left holding thousands of dollars in medical bills I can't afford.

So basically I'm disabled and can't work, but somehow I make too much money to get the Medicaid coverage for the healthcare services I need if I ever hope to get off disability. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place.

I know the state needs to save money, they've had a ridiculously bad spending problem for decades, but why do the cuts need to be on the backs of the people who can least afford it? At least allow exemptions for the disabled and elderly. Kick all the unwed mother's having child after child and don't know who the baby's daddy is, all the scam artists, all the illegal aliens, and just pure lazy ass people off the government teat. That'll free up a whole lot of money.