Thursday, September 16, 2004

Ex was just dx'd as bipolar

The ex was admitted to a psych hospital the day I got out. Almost forgot all about that until he called last night with his diagnosis. His therapist told him he's bipolar. I'll have to do some research on that because I'm not very familiar with it. I've certainly heard of it and know a little about the highs & lows associated with it, but there has to be more criteria to it than that. Maybe if I read up on it I'll be able to think back and see the behaviors in him because I'm not seeing them right now. I don't remember him ever being particularly high or low.

He didn't want to tell our daughter he was in the hospital and asked that I not share that info with her either. Didn't ask him why he wanted to keep her in the dark, but I'm sure there are many reasons. Foremost being that she already worries about me when I'm in the hospital, he doesn't want to add to it. I also think he wants to continue this "manly man" facade. He has everyone convinced that he's this big, strong guy that has it all together and I know he's afraid to show any type of weakness. Admitting to others that he too is mentally ill, in his mind, would be a devastating revelation and would change how others perceive him.

I think he's going to have to come clean to our daughter though, at least at some point. My biggest worry isn't her knowing, but whether or not she's inherited any of these illnesses from either one of us. I know that depression and bipolar can both be hereditary. It scares me to death to think of her ever suffering the pain of depression.


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