Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Shopping is out of control

This shopping stuff is still out of control. Last thing I need right now is to become a compulsive shopper and spend money I don't have. When was that last shopping trip? Yesterday? Gawd, I don't even know what day it is anymore. Anyway, we ended up spending $250. Doesn't seem like much, but when you're not working and still have bills to pay, $250 seems like thousands.

At least this time we did get a little more bang for our buck. 3 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, 1 robe, 2 pairs of shoes & 2 picture frames. Had to do the shoes, it was a buy one get one free sale, couldn't pass that up. Though I have to ask myself....why on earth do I keep buying shoes?? I spend 90% of my time barefoot. Can't stand to have anything on my feet unless I'm going to be walking around some place in public. Never wear shoes at home, don't even bother to put them on to drive my daughter to & from school. Have all those pairs I've never even worn anywhere. Oh my gawd, I'm becoming the next Imelda Marcos.

Strange that I would have a shoe fetish. Not only strange to me, but everyone that knows me thinks it's strange too because the one thing I hate most in the world, next to bananas, are feet. My daughter tells me I have a foot phobia. I won't touch anyone else's feet, don't even want to see their bare feet. Don't want anyone else to touch my feet. Gawd I'm fucking weird.

I was doing good with my starvation diet for awhile. Being in the hospital helped because that food looked beyond disgusting. When I did eat, I tried to have things they didn't have to cook like fruit and yogurt, maybe a cracker or two. Luckily they didn't keep track of how much I wasn't eating like some of the other hospitals. They just asked if I ate most of my meal & I honestly said yes. Didn't tell them I wasn't ordering much of anything. Last few days though I've been a pig. Gotta remember what my original goal was and get back on track. Tired of being this fat, disgusting blob.


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